Sunday, September 23, 2012

Pour my love on you

Today was a big day in my little world. On top of leading 3 worship songs, I spoke for the first time in church. I hadn't planned on speaking, but these words just hit me while I was getting ready this morning. I can sing all day in front of anyone, but speaking just makes me feel...vulnerable? It pushes me way out of my comfort zone. I wrote my thoughts down so that I would have something to guide me during the 2 services and I had a few people ask me to put it on my blog as a kind of devotional. It is my prayer that this is helpful or encouraging to at least one person that will read this. 

I do not usually speak on Sunday mornings. It is interesting that I was asked to lead this particular song (Pour my Love on You) because it is all about not being able to find the right words to show your love for God.

For the past year we've been working with our 5 year old son who was diagnosed with high functioning autism. After a year on the waiting list to see the experts in the field of autism and months of testing, my husband and I found out this week that our son does not have autism.

He has a Language Processing Disorder. This basically means that even though he is just as bright as the average Kindergartener, he has trouble getting out the answers, even when he understands the question. Lots of times, he will be trying to explain something to me and find himself unable to totally express himself. He gives up trying to simply tell me. He will grab my hand and say, "Look, I'll show you."

And that brings me back to this song. It is all about showing our love even when we can't find the words. It can seem like an impossible task sometimes- finding the words to thank God for everything that He is and everything He has done in your life. So, we just... don't. But today, just take a few minutes to consciously pour your heart out to God in genuine worship.

Just take His hand and say, "Look, I'll show you."

At the end of the service, Clay brought Jacob back into the sanctuary so that he could hear me sing the song. He couldn't see me very well, so they walked down front and stood in front of me while I sang. (I'm so glad that I didn't see it, or else I never could have made it through the song!) But my best friend (who took the picture) said that he just kept saying, "My mommy is singing to Jesus" over and over.

I think this might be my favorite picture of all time.

And it is so appropriate. I can talk about Jesus until I am blue in the face, but what is going to make a bigger impression on my children (especially Jacob): talking about loving God or using my gifts to actually do it?

Today was my turn to say, "Look, I'll show you."

1 comment:

  1. Oh my goodness, Kim! I want to stand up and say "AMEN!" Thank you for sharing this- I needed to read it for a variety of reasons. Love you so much and Jacob. I'll be praying for you- pray for me too:) -Lauren